the team and the tour
The Team
| Dan Edwards, Tour Leader/Tour Mascot Moonface isn’t getting any younger and his years as department secretary are certainly taking there toll. With delusions of grandeur he entertains us all with endless stories of his Loughborough glory days of old, and the athelicism that is long behind him, so much so his place on the tour dream team is in constant jeopardy. Fortunately his care home have signed him off for two weeks holiday ,all be it to Skeg Ness, but they’ll never know. The highly organised most experienced touring member has many successful tours to draw on however the coaching staff have made it clear that he is to have no input to team tactics, training or for that matter any football related areas of tour. (Dan Edwards is Clive Woodward, simply because after a successful career in rugby, a transfer to Football never quite worked out…) ----à |
Statistics Height: 6’ 3 Favourite Food: Can’t stand spice (Girl) Karaoke Song: Fly Me to The Moon –Frank Sinatra |
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Steve Vanstone, Manager/Tweedledum As U2’s biggest fan Vanners is known as a ladies man mainly because the male population tend to avoid him. Never make the mistake of urging Vanners to be himself – you couldn’t give him worse advice. Some people may be offended by things that Vanners says, as a squad, we’re just glad that he is now stringing words into sentences. But don’t get him started on Oasis, those three chord losers. Vanstone is world renound for his impression of a sea gull but cant quite manage the deeper voice required. As the smallest member of the tour party with the most limited vocabulary he may require Boulty to help him with certain things…like fastening his seatbelt on the plane, dress him, potty train him, you get the idea. Heres a thought, 100,000 swimmers and Steve was the fastest. |
Statistics Height: 3’6 Favourite Food: Pork Belly Karaoke Son |
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Greg Boult, Head Coach/Roman/Tweedledummer Having coined the phrase for the modern metrosexual man Greg is renound for his year round San Torini tan, £9.99 from any good boots store. He recently appeared in the Ridley Scott epic Gladiator and has gone on to many other blockbusters on the stage and screen including Jaws (when he lies on his back), Pinnochio, Gonzo from the Muppets and most recently Nanny Mcphee, because she’s also got a big nose. With family heritage steeped in Gailic flair unfortunately has not transferred on to the footbally pitch, the peek of his career came and went when he trialed for England School boys where he was told he had potential, everyone can be proved wrong… still theres always ROMANia. |
Statistics Height: 5’10’’ Favourite Food: Croissant Karaoke Song: I Believe I Can Fly – R Kelly |
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Michael Fox, Techy Geek/ Peacock/ Crouchy Look-a-like In his hey day ‘The Peacock’ represented JHGS third team as a goalkeeper unfortunately never possessing the ability to play outfield. His lack of ability has been a hinderance in other areas of his life notably his relations with the opposite sex. Having his first ‘proper’ girlfriend at the age of 20 Michael is try to make up for lost time. Unfortunately Michaels unusually large ears have hindered his performance countless times and as we go to press he finds himself single yet again. The Peacock is a keen horseman, some may even say to an unhealthy level and if there is ever a breakout of ‘Horse-Flu’ Michael may find himself the prime suspect. Michael is looking forward to the tour after a disappointing year. Having not auditioned well his first choice university rejected him stating the following feedback as reasons why…Comedy ears, Bad hair, Gangly frame and lack of personality!!! |
Statistics Height: 7’ 4” Favourite Food: Horse Meat Karaoke Song: The Peacock Song – R Williams |
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| Matt Stone, Techy Geek/Moody Fathead/Sloth Fathead or ‘Sponge Bob’ as he is refered to by the coaching staff is a former JHGS 1st team goalkeeper. Mr Vanstone spotted his potential early and notably his extremely large cranium and thought to himself…’No one will score past that Heeeeeeaaad’. During the latter years ‘Stoney’ has unfortunately let himself go and is currently one of two tourists who has been placed on a strict diet of cake, chocolate and ice-cream (occasional tubs of lard). Under the guidance of his diet tutor Mr Stuart Hill (Jelly-Belly) Stoney has managed to heap on 3 stone in the past 12 months and is fast catching his tutor’s waist line (Yeah right!). Sloth has a great deal to prove and after a year of limited activity and movement the JHGS tour party are concerned that he may let the Dream Team down. Hopefully the ‘Sloth’ has a point to prove and if let on the plane (due to weight and Heeeeeeaaad restirictions) Matt may go down in history as one of the greatest tourists EVER… |
Statistics Height:6’ 2” Favourite Food: Anything! Karaoke Song: Fish, Chips and Sweat - Funkadelics |
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The Tour
New York is the most populous city in the United States, and the center of the New York metropolitan area, which is among the most populous urban areas in the world. A leading global city, New York exerts a powerful influence over worldwide commerce, finance, culture, fashion and entertainment. As host of the United Nations headquarters, it is also an important center for international affairs. Located on a large natural harbor on the Atlantic coast of the Northeastern United States, the city consists of five boroughs: The Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island. The city's 2007 estimated population exceeds 8.3 million people, and with a land area of 305 square miles (790 km2), New York City is the most densely populated major city in the United States.
Sports teams in New York are well supported and successful with Baseball, Ice Hockey, Basketball, American Football and Soccer being the main sports. NYC is one of the few areas of the United States where baseball, rather than American football, remains the most popular sport. The New York Yankees and New York Mets are the two major baseball teams. Meanwhile, the two big NFL teams are the New York Jets and the New York Giants, the New York Rangers represent the city in the National Hockey League and the New York Knicks compete in the NBA for New York. Red Bull New York are the soccer team in NY, they play their home games at the Giants Stadium in New Jersey.